cutting loose

On Friday night, i took a minute to reacquaint myself with some things i had parked up on a shelf for a while. Margaritas, and stuff. I remember now why I had parked those things, they're expensive, and they lead you down a road to even more expensive things. The rest of the weekend was spent in a state of recovery and wonder. It's interesting how a hang over usually subtracts one full day from your life. I am reminded that i don't like the trade. (though at the time, when i'm signing on the dotted line for a docked-day, it seems like a pittance) Not that I don't agree that there should be trades when it comes to beating the shit out of your brain with booze and what-not, it's just that I've come to thinking that the beating the wallet takes should be good enough payment, without having to trade up a day of your life as well.

To recover, i went out to connecticut for a few days, where I slowly regained my strength, and did milder things, like, sit down, and write letters, and play chess, and watch TV, and so on. The ride out was basically horrible, I was sure i could very well meet my untimely end on the train ride, and to make matters worse, that little iPod shuffle died on the first song. It really drives me to a sort of brink, this bit about how the iPod shuffle has to dock to USB for power, because my experience has been that you plug it in to charge, and maybe it's a day or two before I might use it again, but somehow, regardless of which steps i take to insure i've got the power, between the machine waking up and going to sleep and so on, it never gets a full charge. I mean, what's the big deal about making the computer so that if there's something plugged in to the USB, the computer can go to sleep, but if there's something charging on it, you know, LET THE FUCKING THING CHARGE. How hard can that be? Anyway, my work around is, if i happen to notice the green light on it, indicating a full charge, i just unplug it and let it ride. We'll see if that actually works out, but i'm not going to hold my breath.

So I went out to this club, and it was something, because i was reminded how very not-cool i actually am. I mean, that club was crawling with the "real" cool people of NYC. (to be said and read like, The Real Housewives of the OC) I mean, i don't have the right clothes, I don't dance like them folks, I don't get their jokes, I don't look anything like them, and i don't dig on the like, $400 or $800 table service for drinks. I mean, i'm not a cheapskate, i just don't get it.

Hang on. I'm not saying I don't like a good time. The cool folks seemed like they were having a good enough time, but i couldn't shake how hollow and empty and fucking EXPENSIVE it was to be that way. Wait now. Don't get ahead of me. I'm not saying that if you get table service at a club that you are hollow and empty, but somehow, there was nothing that struck me as meaningful or real the whole time i was in there. Even though i was just as drunk as they were, i felt like "the sober guy" at the party, where everyone was acting like god-damned morons.

Morons that felt they were in some exclusive place, like, they were so lucky to be able to pay a premium to hear some deejay spinning the latest POP music. No, not lucky, more like, holier than thou. Now, sure there were pretty folk inside. Sure some of the clothes weren't all H&M knock-offs, and sure, the people I was with were cool, but the thing is, once we got inside, i never really saw them again.

I walked up and down and all over, front to back, side to side, going in and out of these various groups of people, and some were very snooty, and some were fun and rambunctious, you know, doing their thing, and of course it was some sort of party, you know with the balloons, and there were pretty girls with lots of make-up on, stuff like that. It's fun to look at, but it's like going to the zoo. Except you get to go inside the cages and hang with the animals. I guess that part's okay, but I really felt like I've finally grown up enough that it doesn't do a god damned thing for me to go to some bar or club, pay 10 bucks plus per watered down drink, and never have a place to sit down and drink it. So, call me old.

Speaking of "Desperate Housewives of the OC", there's this one couple on there that sort of really nails the feeling i got in this club friday night. You know, Slade and JoJo. I mean JoJo is (in my opinion) exactly what i'm talking about. Just a complete dumbass, who (Hopefully) will not get to live her life till she's old pulling the stunts she pulls, and guys like Slade who somehow make all the dough but are obviously complete dumbasses when it comes to knowing which are the "real" people.

Well listen. i'd love to write more, but i'm getting grief from an old co-worker about more current events, so i have to go now. But I think i was on a roll there. And that felt better than yesterday. I mean, that piece of crap post was an embarrassment, but i'm leaving it up.

you be nice to each other. Maybe i'll write again when everyone else is in bed.

dTown | listening to Dinosaur Jr. | Overcast and 40˚

*OH. i did want to say this though. One thing that happened on Friday night was a met this new dude, well, I met him and his girlfriend, and the thing about it was, he was a real person. So there's still plenty of good ones here, and i really had a great time about it, it was a moment where i thought to myself, "really? i'm going to move away from NYC? I mean, seems like there's still plenty of opportunity here if you want it, but... do I want it?" well. After thinking and processing over the weekend, and some tepid conversations with the people i would lean on in a pinch, I guess it's just going to be up to me. And an off the cuff answer, from me? well. No. it's not worth it. There's cool people anywhere you go. And NYC isn't really making a good argument for sticking around. So i just wanted to touch on that real quick.
Good Times.